The Transformative Power of Gratitude

I didn’t become a Wealth Coach because I have always been (or am now) faultless with money. The truth is, I’ve been through a lot of financial pain that has given me valuable lessons and perspective.

My dubious claim to fame is that, during the Great Recession, I became “the Wealth Coach who lost everything.”

Ten years after my divorce, when I thought I had this “money thing” all figured out, everything that could happen, did.

My boyfriend changed his mind about moving in with me… right after I bought a house I couldn’t afford by myself. The market crashed shortly after I launched my coaching business, which meant my assets (mostly in real estate) vanished. My daughter badly fractured her foot the same summer my father almost died. Then came my own health challenges (no doubt brought on by taking care of everyone else): viruses, pneumonia, colitis, infections, and anemia. Some days, I didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed. (As a self-employed breadwinner, this was not a recipe for prosperity….)

But somehow, in the middle of it all, a profound peace came upon me. I had found my center in the eye of the storm, and I knew that I would be – that I was – “okay.” I stopped responding to outside indicators as if they could dictate my worth and happiness, and I discovered an inner abundance that I had not even realized was there.

I went back to the basics: prayer, meditation, long walks, and gratitude journaling. I focused on what I wanted, and took steps towards it, however small. I made self-care a top priority, and I learned to receive as well as give.

About the same time, a friend was going through her own personal holocaust in a California prison. In a nightmarish chain of events, her baby had passed away, and after telling the paramedics she had given him small doses of antihistamines to relieve his congestion, she was charged with first-degree murder and held in custody on one million dollars bail.

Although the first-degree murder charges didn’t stick, her life was a living hell for two years. Still mourning the loss of her son, she proceeded to lose her freedom, her home, her reputation, her belongings (liquidated for legal costs), custody of her daughter, and eventually, her marriage.

During this time, we talked as regularly as possible by phone. She was always glad to connect to somebody “on the outside,” but I felt at a total loss of words. I watched as her former “can-do” attitude faded and anger, despair and hopelessness began to rule her thoughts. I was a newly certified “life coach,” but it didn’t seem like all the coaching in the world could help.

And yet, one day, I found myself challenging her to look around and find something (maybe just one little thing?) to be grateful for. Yes, her challenges were greater than I could even imagine, but still… I hoped — almost ashamed at myself for suggesting it, fearing I might be wrong — there must be a hint of sunshine somewhere. (Right??)

In the following weeks and months, letters from prison started arriving with gratitude lists. She was grateful when she could afford a little Lipton tea to enjoy in her cell. She was grateful when the light bulbs that were never turned off dimmed a bit at night. She was grateful for envelopes, stamps, and tiny “golf pencils” to write with. She was grateful for her one small blanket.

One evening, a nighttime fire alarm brought her to the yard and she saw stars for the first time in many months. Overwhelmed by the beauty of the night sky, she called me with tears of gratitude and amazement. We both wept with gratitude for the stars and the opportunity to share that gratitude — yes, even on a collect call from prison.

I recently came across one of her old letters, and it reminded me of the necessity of always recognizing “the good stuff,” yes, during the hard times, and at ALL times. In a culture addicted to complaints and always seeking “more, more, MORE,” it is a transformative action to habitually declare the good we are experiencing each and every day.

Today, I am grateful for a new home that meets my needs perfectly. I am grateful for my daughter. I am grateful for the taste of yoghurt, text messages from my new boyfriend, family photos, and a client’s breakthrough. I’m grateful that my friend is no longer in prison, but is enjoying adventures with sailboats, horses, and new friends right now. And most of all, I’m grateful for gratitude, that miraculous little mind-shift that has the power to change absolutely everything.

Hard times will come and go, but we can give thanks at all times. And make no mistake – it’s not just that we “can” focus on the positive; when times are tough, we must. Without the power of gratitude, our sense of inner abundance will be conditional as the weather. When we can find our center in the eye of the storm, we will have peace in all circumstances.  -KP

Kate Phillips helps people go from frustrated and fearful to confident and cash-flowing. Download my free 22-page guide, “Break Through to Abundance: 4 Reasons You’re Stressing Over Money (and how to break the cycle forever!)” right here.

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